El Dorado :)

So, I have been doing some thinking over this past week, working too, why of course.  Thinking though!  I have been thinking about high school and even before where I had been bullied, mistreated, and what it all came down to was jealousy.  I was different.  I didn’t fit the mold of just fitting in.  I had my own opinions, but back then I remained silent and it repressed me.  It repressed and depressed me.

As I have gotten older and well, more fine lines and wrinkles, I cannot even believe how I have blossomed in my own skin, how my stretch marks and chub have turned into such beauty.  I found my voice.  I refuse to repress my voice.  If I have something to say, I say it.  Or, I keep it to myself.  I am all about the universe and karma.  I believe in myself and what I do and it shows daily.  I have all the abundance I could ask for as a result of how I live.  I have limited and continue to limit any threats to that abundance, and by threats I mean sheer jealousy.  And, the majority of the jealousy is by other women 🙁

I have realized that as much as I have been trying to be human, I had green eyed monsters just wanting my life, not looking at me like gee, what can I do to make it or I want to have my own things, no people I deal with want to steal my joy and have my life with little to no effort.  As money doesn’t go on trees, neither does genuine, loving, people.  I see what the world has to offer and I am blessed.  We can all be blessed if we find ourselves and what we need to be responsible for and stop blaming everyone else.

I am less than concerned with others.  I look up to Oprah, Maya Angelou, Meghan Kelly and so many more beautiful souls.  I admire them.  I think to myself, what can do to work harder to be more like them.  I never think, well what can they do for me or give to me?  Or who can I attach to like a parasite to take from and then be ungrateful.  I am not sure what went wrong or why people think that people are objects or money goes on trees, but I pray that things start to change.

To all the haters and I mean all:  “Thank you for reaffirming all the beauty I possess that I never even knew all these years.  All the hate and jealousy that continues to come my way, I even turn into a positive.  I see it as flattering.  You make me even more special than I already know I am.”

I know my life is my treasure and it is truly a treasure to a land of gold, my own el dorado, go figure!


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