Elegant Blog 54
Oprah has always talked about de-cluttering your life. Not only do you need to de-clutter toxic people, but you must get rid of all the clutter and debris that surrounds us in life.
I just went through so many clothes I hung on to for no good reason. “Maybe I will fit into this again, maybe I will use this one day.” Even if I never used it. The delusion goes on and on. But as you de-clutter something wonderful happens. More good will come back to you. Just watch. Donate the old stuff, sell some, and let someone have it who really needs it. Send out those positive vibes and watch what happens. You get back in return what you put out there. So dream big and give big!
When you are always complaining at home, take a look in the mirror about what you put up with and allow for your life. When every relationship remains the same and you are like, am I with the same man, woman, but in a different body, it’s you. You create the perception of how you feel about yourself. The insecurities you have are in your family, relationships around you. You hang around with people who feed your negativity. They feed your insecurities about yourself. When you have a man, woman who can’t keep a job, doing things that are illegal, wrong, it’s you. Nobody needs to put up with negativity. It truly is a choice. It is time to move on.
At work, I notice it with the people we serve. They go home. We get an e-mail saying something went down during the day. None of my team can figure it out. When we finally figure out what it is, it is that the only way the people we serve can relate to their home is through negativity. Then, it gets perpetuated through other agencies we deal with because their people are feeling just as bad about themselves. Think about how much more productive we would all be if we all said, “no negativity at my door.” Leave it to the last place you came from.
The same people who are sharing information about everyone else, ARE sharing it about you. Don’t forget that. The same evil someone shares with you, they can do to you. So, SLAM that door SHUT, put 50 locks, glue it, but close it to negativity!
Love you some YOU
As I am always trying on my quest to eat healthier and of course stay away from my fav’s cupcakes and ice cream, I started to become more aware of my feelings associated with it, sensations I feel physically. What I noticed was how excellent I feel, how much lighter.
I’m willing to bet that we feel this way because we are all so used to sugar and processed foods and used to feeling bloated. We are so used to it we run to fill ourselves with this junk. Emotionally, we fill ourselves to feel full too, metaphorically speaking. When we get rid of all that bad food, bad people and our energy no longer attracts them, it no longer attracts sugar, go figure!
So, I’m not saying I will ever give up my cupcakes or ice cream but i must say I am really liking this lighter, sexier feeling and you should too, love some of you, because I’ve really been loving me some me.
I have been thinking about silence lately. How empowering it is! I don’t mean ignoring others, I mean sitting back and enjoying the quiet, listening to the sounds around you and observing the world. There is a lot of noise around us. When you really listen you see people for what they really are. You see the reality, the good and the bad, within. When I am silent, my intuition guides me. It also inspires and enlightens me, helping to inspire and enlighten those in my care. When you listen, not so much to words, but to the internal meaning they express, it puts a new perspective on life.
Silence helps me be more mindful of my actions and to think carefully before acting out my emotions. It helps me focus more on what really matters and pay more attention to the feedback and support I receive. What I now realize is that some of the people who speak the loudest have the least to say. In fact they are some of the saddest people I meet. People who are always talking about someone, everything and nothing, are those we should pity, as they do not know peace and calm, only unnecessary drama. So enjoy the silence!
I feel thinner.
I jumped on the scale and it said a number I didn’t like, so I jumped off. I feel thinner. I feel more free. I feel less bloated. I feel like I got rid of 100 pounds even though it’s clear not one pound dropped. I got rid of toxic people months ago and I have had more time for me, more time to build, more time to think, more time to do what I want to.
I am in the process of creating two other businesses and being the family woman I am. It’s clear to me that we have to distance ourself from things which no longer serve us and wow what a difference.
I am letting go of things that are not meant for me. That is a really amazing concept for me, as I continue on my journey. If we took nothing personally, how good would that feel? Well, just thinking of this short week I can come up with quite a few examples. Is anything really personal anyway, or is it just a reflection of someone else’s twisted journey, or better yet a lesson for us to note and move on.
How about the billing lady at my doctor’s office that continued to demand a preauthorization letter for a specialty visit when my health insurance didn’t require one? How about the e-mail from another agency about a client and their inability to help her get up and walk and work on healthy living? How about people that decide to be lazy and not do their job and add hours of extra work for us? If I sat around taking this personally what would that turn into? Maybe depression and anxiety because I wasn’t able to move forward with my mission? Instead, I called for that useless authorization I knew I didn’t need. My cool assistant put in some extra time with the people who couldn’t do their job. I let it all go.
I am letting go of what I shouldn’t own. Drama may pass through my door through a tiny crack, but what I can assure you is, I will seal that crack with the heaviest new caulk known to man. Trust me, it won’t be back. Let go! The insecurities and hatred others possess isn’t ours to own. Put love in the universe for those who desperately need it and know that love will return twofold to you.
Once, like many of us, all I had to look forward to each day was sitting inside four, dull, walls. I dreaded Monday, which was another day at a job I didn’t love. At work some people were full of self-imposed drama. Bosses resisted suggestions from employees, for fear they might out-shine them. My decisions were always small and comfortable. What should I eat for dinner, what are the plans for the next birthday, or holiday?
That’s stability. Most of us know it. I knew stability. But as I think about it, I realize it was mostly an illusion.
Life needs risk and some discomfort on the way to fulfillment. Even when success is achieved it must be managed with care. Other people become barriers when you achieve success. Hands reach out expecting money from the money tree. They want to start a business, but want you to do all the work. They want you to do things for them, while they avoid time and effort themselves. It takes courage to confront such challenges. It takes courage to know you’re right. You must be courageous to move on from just living, to living out your dream. When you forsake comfort for courage you can experience the best your life has to offer. Believe me, I have been there, and I know.
I guess looking back, I didn’t learn a lot about boundaries growing up. I wasn’t sure what was healthy, or not. Now that I have the time to breathe some drama-free air, I realize how important boundaries are. It is so important to know if people truly want to have a healthy relationship with you, or just want something for themselves, which is a one way street you don’t want to go down.
It is so nice to finish work and focus on what I have created in life . . . to breathe fresh air and to drive down my own highway for a while. I am not here to impress anyone. I am here to follow my passion and live out my purpose, surrounded by those I love. We all need to sit down once in a while and really think about where we are and what we need to get there. Then we must create the boundaries we need to get us where we are going.
This weekend I was going through some old cards and pictures. I have an obsession with greeting cards and like to save them. These were sitting right in front of me on an old bulletin board, but I hadn’t taken a close look at them in quite a while. As I looked at the pictures and the cards they reminded me of the marvelous journey I have been on and how far I have come. It is also a reminder of how important it is to be mindful of the intuition that guides us.
I see a picture of an airplane, which I once was fearful of, but that has become a gateway to new experiences at least five times a year! I see a picture of my husband — who is African-American — and it reminds how challenging that relationship once was. I also delighted by the knowledge of how well things have turned out for us! I have always needed someone to stand up for me, but now I stand up for myself! Learning how to love and be loved has given me strength that has brought me abundance. Wow, am I grateful! I look at my older daughter and see how much she is like me. I am so proud of her and hope one day, like me, she will have business to run. We are all destined for greatness, if we just put in the work and are receptive to the path the universe prepares for us. I also see a bumper sticker I saved that says, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” I am clearly well prepared for making history!
I am in love with focusing my energy by keeping reminders of what I have done, and do, every day. I now realize that I have always had everything I needed to succeed in life. I just didn’t know it. Being aware of that will help you focus on what is important in your journey through the universe and in achieving the success you deserve. J
I believe a friend, or a family member, or anyone else we are close to, can be a positive source of energy for us. I think we all have the ability to be positive or negative influencers, so we must work hard to develop the positive when we find it. Some days it is not so easy. I have moved away from some people, even those who have taught me many things. I realized they felt entitled to share the benefit of my hard work, and the abundance that flows from it. What I do each minute of the day, who I choose to spend time with, what I choose to do, is my choice. I now live a life I never believed was possible for me. I have a family I never dreamed of having. And I believe I have all this because I deserve it!
I’m so glad that that I have moved away from people who do not want to take responsibility for their lives, or for their actions. People who just pull me down. I pray that only karma keeps coming to them, but when I see them today they frighten me with their stagnant, ugly souls. They are still at the same point in their lives they were when I first met them at, standing on the sidelines, doing nothing, accomplishing nothing. The saddest part is they know this. When they look in the mirror every day they are repeatedly frightened by what they see.
As you do better for yourself and those around you, weed out the garbage. The funny, yet sad, thing is in years to come, you can go back to the same street corner, same mediocre job, same welfare office, same fantasy world, and it will all be there, just where you left it It isn’t your job, or anyone else’s, to move anyone along on their life journey. The truth is, it is the Universe that has your back, and mine!
It’s time for all of us to stop accepting the crumbs. People who gamble, stay out late every night, sell drugs when they’re middle-aged, must raise the bar for what they are willing to accept from life. Cut your hair a new way, put on makeup that works for you, color your hair the color it should be. Be proud and self-reliant and stop trying to take from anyone who is trying to do something brave and self-reliant. Do what you know you can do on your own. Wake up and look in the mirror with pride, or shatter that image. Pretty up! That mirror deserves the best face you have to offer.