Once, like many of us, all I had to look forward to each day was sitting inside four, dull, walls. I dreaded Monday, which was another day at a job I didn’t love. At work some people were full of self-imposed drama. Bosses resisted suggestions from employees, for fear they might out-shine them. My decisions were always small and comfortable. What should I eat for dinner, what are the plans for the next birthday, or holiday?
That’s stability. Most of us know it. I knew stability. But as I think about it, I realize it was mostly an illusion.
Life needs risk and some discomfort on the way to fulfillment. Even when success is achieved it must be managed with care. Other people become barriers when you achieve success. Hands reach out expecting money from the money tree. They want to start a business, but want you to do all the work. They want you to do things for them, while they avoid time and effort themselves. It takes courage to confront such challenges. It takes courage to know you’re right. You must be courageous to move on from just living, to living out your dream. When you forsake comfort for courage you can experience the best your life has to offer. Believe me, I have been there, and I know.
I guess looking back, I didn’t learn a lot about boundaries growing up. I wasn’t sure what was healthy, or not. Now that I have the time to breathe some drama-free air, I realize how important boundaries are. It is so important to know if people truly want to have a healthy relationship with you, or just want something for themselves, which is a one way street you don’t want to go down.
It is so nice to finish work and focus on what I have created in life . . . to breathe fresh air and to drive down my own highway for a while. I am not here to impress anyone. I am here to follow my passion and live out my purpose, surrounded by those I love. We all need to sit down once in a while and really think about where we are and what we need to get there. Then we must create the boundaries we need to get us where we are going.
This weekend I was going through some old cards and pictures. I have an obsession with greeting cards and like to save them. These were sitting right in front of me on an old bulletin board, but I hadn’t taken a close look at them in quite a while. As I looked at the pictures and the cards they reminded me of the marvelous journey I have been on and how far I have come. It is also a reminder of how important it is to be mindful of the intuition that guides us.
I see a picture of an airplane, which I once was fearful of, but that has become a gateway to new experiences at least five times a year! I see a picture of my husband — who is African-American — and it reminds how challenging that relationship once was. I also delighted by the knowledge of how well things have turned out for us! I have always needed someone to stand up for me, but now I stand up for myself! Learning how to love and be loved has given me strength that has brought me abundance. Wow, am I grateful! I look at my older daughter and see how much she is like me. I am so proud of her and hope one day, like me, she will have business to run. We are all destined for greatness, if we just put in the work and are receptive to the path the universe prepares for us. I also see a bumper sticker I saved that says, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” I am clearly well prepared for making history!
I am in love with focusing my energy by keeping reminders of what I have done, and do, every day. I now realize that I have always had everything I needed to succeed in life. I just didn’t know it. Being aware of that will help you focus on what is important in your journey through the universe and in achieving the success you deserve. J
I believe a friend, or a family member, or anyone else we are close to, can be a positive source of energy for us. I think we all have the ability to be positive or negative influencers, so we must work hard to develop the positive when we find it. Some days it is not so easy. I have moved away from some people, even those who have taught me many things. I realized they felt entitled to share the benefit of my hard work, and the abundance that flows from it. What I do each minute of the day, who I choose to spend time with, what I choose to do, is my choice. I now live a life I never believed was possible for me. I have a family I never dreamed of having. And I believe I have all this because I deserve it!
I’m so glad that that I have moved away from people who do not want to take responsibility for their lives, or for their actions. People who just pull me down. I pray that only karma keeps coming to them, but when I see them today they frighten me with their stagnant, ugly souls. They are still at the same point in their lives they were when I first met them at, standing on the sidelines, doing nothing, accomplishing nothing. The saddest part is they know this. When they look in the mirror every day they are repeatedly frightened by what they see.
As you do better for yourself and those around you, weed out the garbage. The funny, yet sad, thing is in years to come, you can go back to the same street corner, same mediocre job, same welfare office, same fantasy world, and it will all be there, just where you left it It isn’t your job, or anyone else’s, to move anyone along on their life journey. The truth is, it is the Universe that has your back, and mine!
It’s time for all of us to stop accepting the crumbs. People who gamble, stay out late every night, sell drugs when they’re middle-aged, must raise the bar for what they are willing to accept from life. Cut your hair a new way, put on makeup that works for you, color your hair the color it should be. Be proud and self-reliant and stop trying to take from anyone who is trying to do something brave and self-reliant. Do what you know you can do on your own. Wake up and look in the mirror with pride, or shatter that image. Pretty up! That mirror deserves the best face you have to offer.
You always feel obligated to respond to them, so whenever they call, or send a text, you respond. But afterwards you always come away with that “yuck’ feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. Maybe the conversation didn’t energize you, or may even have depressed you, but it’s more than that. It’s a more visceral response. You may actually get a feeling of foreboding, that vague sense that the other person is really trying to hurt you.
My advice is that — if that’s the case — run very fast in the other direction.
These people may even have been close to you at one point, but they may now have served their purpose in your life. Sooner, rather than later, wish them well and move on. Keeping people in your life past their expiration date only leads to anguish. This is not about you. It is about them and their own insecurities. So listen closely to that “yuck” feeling and move on.
I think sometimes when we take a break and relax, or just stop and take a look at what is going on around us, our eyes open to so many new things. I think it’s easier to do this when you’re on vacation, or just relaxing somewhere. What may be a bit more challenging is overcoming obstacles that come up when you are in the midst of building a business and raising a family! I think we sometimes let everyday challenges stop us in our tracks, especially nagging, little things like emails about nothing, or petty matters you never imagined you would have to deal with as an adult, like people not minding their own business and interfering with your life.
When you are able to overcome small obstacles and keep moving, that is something to be proud of. I find myself working harder as each obstacle is overcome. It helps me when I am moving forward and getting things done. It feels good and energizes me. While other people are on vacation you can be working, solving problems. Vacations inspire us, but there is a time and place for them. It’s always better to jump through the obstacles, work harder, and then visit the Caribbean to celebrate and recharge your batteries. Its great out of season and a lot less crowded!
This week, as I sat back and watched life unfold, it suddenly became clear to me that most people live every day with unrealistic expectations — both about where they are going and what they are capable of doing. This is partly because people don’t usually see themselves clearly, but also because they have unrealistic perceptions of those around them. When you are loving and kind, you want to believe others are the same. When you think the world owes you everything and expects nothing in return, you always feel others are trying to harm you.
If you are being really honest, you soon realize your perceptions of others are just reflections of your own perceptions of yourself. If you see the world as a place of love, not hate, then more love will come to you. If you perceive more hate in the world than love, then you attract more sadness, anger and bad karma in return. I have found that when you focus on remaining true to the love deep inside all of us, you will inevitably be more loving and kind. I have found so many great and wonderful people who reflect this that I am convinced positive energy and love are the keys to growth and success in life.
In truth the world doesn’t need to know your story, or your personal truths for that matter. But, you do. I have seen so many people who have trouble realizing this because they want to strike out in anger. Ignore that impulse, which is lurking in all of us. Instead be someone who thrives by being true to your inner self. Free yourself from the chains that make you beholden to others who are often so stuck within their own misperceptions they have no ability to be true to anyone — not even themselves.
How People Treat Others Shows How They Feel About Themselves…
How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. Some people pretend to be something they are not and wind up living in a fantasy world. They lie about who they are and what they can do. When you go out there, really work hard and actually get things done, these same people just smile and say, “It must be nice.” I have officially eliminated all such do-nothing, nonsense souls from my universe.
Be careful of who tells you what about yourself. Especially when they are the same people asking you for money and favors, and feel they can share your energy. Be careful of those who always know everyone’s business and are quick to tell you too many things about other people. Those same people are talking about you too.
I find it amusing that despite their aspirations to be something special the people I am referring to are usually stuck living beggar, not chooser, lifestyles. Meanwhile I continue to grow. Life is not at all about money. It’s about freedom. In order to have freedom, you have to purge your life of nonsense souls, dream hard, and work hard to make them come true. Get up, get out, and then show up so much everyone already knows who you are.
I know that lessons and memories are there so we are able to save special moments to think about, laugh about, and learn from. They make us into who we are and provide a road map to where we are going.
The people we encounter, the experiences we have, are not intended to make us victims, living in fear, and feeling down. They are meant to teach us and then help us move on. I feel that constantly talking about the past does not help us grow, but is just a sign of depression. The trick to moving forward in life is having a willingness to be taught. If not, the same lessons crop up repeatedly because you didn’t learn them the first time.
Dreams require work, dedication, sacrifice and energy – and by that I mean good, productive energy – not running in place. Living on leftover dreams that never worked, or dreaming to avoid work, never takes us to where we are meant to go. The best place to live is in the moment, having good conversations and great interactions. Dream a little dream, or a few, but don’t get stuck in the past. The past is just that. It is behind us. Complaining that the world keeps dealing you a bad hand is just another way of saying you choose not to learn.
I have always had a hunger for knowledge. If I didn’t know how to do something, or didn’t believe what I heard or read about it, I sought more knowledge. I also ask people questions about their lives and store that information away. I am always really curious about what may be out there, how other people see and think about the world and — most of all – about their hopes and dreams. It is amazing to see all the different energy there is in the world and where it can take us.
One thing that surprises me a lot – and maybe it shouldn’t — is the lack of motivation and sheer entitlement that I see in people today. Dreams don’t work unless you do. We can all dream, but at some point you have to get out there, release the fear and take a risk with your dreams. I always pursued my dreams whenever I could, after hours, before hours. I even dream about my dreams.
I find that too many people today just want to get paid. But they want the payoff without making the investment in time and effort to earn it. Of course being paid is important. What I now realize though is that when I stopped living just for a paycheck and started living for my dreams as well, things really came together for me. Really hunger to do and be the best you possibly can at everything you do. Work hard at it, pursue your dreams, and you will be surprised how naturally abundance will flow to you.